I let guilt get the best of me today.
I tend to do that more than I would like to admit.
If you do this to yourself as well, keep on reading as I am sure this will bless your heart.
I typically acknowledge my faults. I don't try to hide my faults like I once did. I am not bragging on myself because I fail in so many other ways. If anything, I get too worked up over my faults.
I have a tough time forgiving myself and today was one of those days.
I have been riddled with worry for weeks and then spent the first half of this week on the couch sick as a dog (that is a Southern saying). I physically am down so, of course, my emotions have been a bit crazy as well.
I was driving down the road when God spoke to me through my child.
He does this a lot.
I am telling you-- if you don't feel like God cares or even listens to you, then you should have kids. They will show you, or rather, God will show you through them, what child-like faith is and you won't have any doubts.
I was driving.
Emmeline was in the back talking about everything as she always does.
I am sitting in the front seat beating myself up mentally because I wasn't able to care for my kids this week (as if that was my fault). Then that turned into me telling myself that I wasn't teaching them the right things or giving it my all this week. Typical lies from satan and lies that we tell ourselves were just flying around in my mind. I was also mad at myself for other areas of my life I assumed I was surely failing in all while not giving myself grace.
If this sounds familiar to you, keep reading! This will bless your heart.
Emmeline was in the backseat talking about her stuffed Minnie Mouse and how she was going to eat a granola bar as soon as we got home. Then out of the blue this is how the conversation goes:
Emmeline: "Mommy, do you know who made our eyes?"
Me: "Yes, I do. Do you?"
Emmeline: "God! He also thought that we needed Walker and me and so God made us." (I told her months ago that God thought we needed her and her brother so He blessed us with them)
Me: *Silently sobbing* "That's right, baby. He did make you and brother."
Emmeline: "Did you know that He made everything?"
Me: *Basically crying a river in the front seat* "I do know that."
Emmeline: "I love God. I want Him to come see me. I want to go visit God."
Me: *Explains that God is always watching over us but is in Heaven and will come back to get us one day and we talked about faith in Jesus. * STILL CRYING*
My three-year old didn't realize how much she encouraged me. She doesn't have a care in the world right now because she is so young and content. God used her to remind me that He truly is in charge. He created us. He created the world. He created all of it. He is never surprised by our life events or shaken up by our earthly troubles. He already knows all and is in all of our tomorrows. Sometimes we don't take Him at His word though and He reminds us through our own children. I think we complicate life so much. We complicate God. God gives us answers in His Word and wants us to have the faith of children. I want to be like my daughter and just rest content in the fact that He does have everything in control.
God knows when we need a loud and clear reminder. I love how He speaks to us in the moments when we expect it the least, but always need it most.
If you're discouraged I hope you will think about this today. I want you to let go and trust that God has you in the palm of His hand. Even when we are overwhelmed and if we are honest, a bit far away from Him, He is still here. He still cares.