Updated: May 25
If only you could see your two small kiddos running towards their daddy in the back-yard.
If you could only get a small glimpse of your future it would give you the strength to keep pressing forward.
If you could see how happy and secure you're, you would realize that God does have a greater plan.
If you could see that all those journals you used to write in come in good use, you would fill up a few more journals.
If you could see that you do overcome a lot of internal battles, you would fight harder and push forward even more persistently.
That dream family unit you wished you had is right before your very eyes. They adore their father and you do too. As we speak, they are running around the yard as he builds them a treehouse. There are no perfect families but the four of you are building something special.
Right now you're confused, struggling, and angry. You won't realize the insecurities that you hold inside until years from now and it isn't pretty when they come out. However, it is necessary and you'll be glad you let God bring them to light.
I don't want to give away too many details because it would ruin the surprises that are up ahead but I want you to lean in and listen to a few things I have to say.
1. Stop chasing after people or things outside of Jesus. It will take you down dead-end roads where you don't realize you're lost until you've traveled five-thousand miles away from where you're supposed to be. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone or beg anyone to love and appreciate you.
2. You don't have to be the perfect kid. Don't overcompensate to cover-up the fact that you're hurting over your parent's divorce. The grades, committees, commitments, part-time job, and all the other things are great but do it because YOU really want to do it.
3. You don't have to have a five-year education plan in place. It is OKAY to not know what you're going to do with your life at age 18. Take some time to really think about it without the pressure of those TOTALLY INACCURATE career tests that don't know you deep down in your soul. You don't know it yet but you will realize your God-given talents have nothing to do with what you're currently pursuing. Trust me: You will be glad you changed your mind.
4. Stop blaming yourself for everything under the sun. It will take you several years, counseling sessions, and tears to overcome some deeply seeded insecurities you carry. When you get through the difficult part, you'll see that it was worth it. You fully realize that you don't need to be insecure when you have Jesus in your heart.
5. You're stronger than you think. Your strength comes from Christ and never forget that but you get up every morning and put your feet on the ground. If you did not stay strong and put forth the effort, then life would look wildly different. Keep getting up and going on.
It is a bumpy road. A few dark seasons are up ahead but the view is incredible once you get there. Keep trusting that Jesus does have a plan for your future.
I promise that you will understand one day.
A much more secure future you
What would you tell yourself if you could go back in time?