Why do we take our frustrations out on our spouse so easily?
We will spew things at our spouse that we would never dare say to anyone else.
And I’m terribly guilty of this. I think we all are if we’ve been married longer than 24hrs.
When we got married we stood at an altar surrounded by loved ones and beautiful floral arrangements. Adorned in our best attire without a single hair out of place, we promised to love each other deeply as Christ instructs us to love each other. To respect and care for each other no matter what. To, at all costs, love one another with our whole heart.
Then life hits and stress starts wearing both parties down until you’re snapping at one another over little things. Then we get comfortable spewing the little things and let the big things roll off our lips next and those cut a little deeper.
What happened to the starry-eyed couple at the altar? They weren’t telling one another how annoying they were or how they never, ever listen.
The problem is grace. Or the lack of it rather.
We feel they have failed us and we need to tell them about it so we do (in an unhealthy way) instead of giving grace.
Communicating you’re upset is one thing (very important to do) but spewing hate towards your spouse is another. There is a fine line that many of us cross (speaking to myself too, friend).
We must extend grace to our spouse freely. Our love for them must outweigh our momentary frustration with them. When my husband was going through cancer all I could think about was all the unkind words I said to him in the heat of the moment when I was frustrated with him.
We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow with our spouse so we must love them deeply TODAY because deep down we would lay down our own life for them even if they frustrate us.
Deep down we are wildly crazy about them and don’t want to wish any harm upon them.
Deep down we know they’re trying their very best.
Are the words you’re about to speak worth deeply wounding your spouse?
Never is it worth it.
May we be husbands and wives who extend grace freely.