Newlywed love is the worst.
At first, I was taken aback (a little hurt even) but then he explained. I am an enneagram type 2 and words of affirmation is my top love language so clearly that statement stung a bit.
You see, when we first got married it was fake (in a way). Sure we loved each other and were committed (and that certainly wasn’t fake) but we hadn’t yet lived with one another long enough to see the good, bad, and ugly sides.
We had put on our false masks and pretenses and hadn’t yet felt the sting of trials in our marriage.
As far as we knew, we would agree on everything and never have disagreements. Oh, the naive- newlywed-nincompoops we were.
Five years, four big moves, career changes, two kids under four, disagreements, wonderful times, and many various seasons have stretched us as thin as a piece of dental floss at times.
We’ve realized a lot about the foundation of our early marriage and realized that parts of the foundation weren’t exactly on a strong footing so adjusting our focus was necessary. That’s a sobering conversation to have and an awkward one in case you’re wondering.
We’ve had to be strong for one another during stressful times and we haven’t always worked together as a team.
We rarely get date nights or weekends away but we love one another deeply.
We’ve said hurtful words to one another and have seen our ugly hearts portrayed on the big screen of our marriage.
We’ve had to choose one another over and over again.
We’ve had to give grace and work hard to keep our marriage going.
We’ve felt hopeless at times and that’s not easy to admit.
However, I agree with my husband. I like this new, genuine, you’ve-seen-all-of-my-sides-relationship.
We’ve had rough times (and more will come) but man I love us. We love one another and are stronger despite the situations we’ve faced.
Goodbye newlywed love and hello year five of being married to my best friend and biggest blessing.
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