As a writer, I don't always write about what I am currently going through. It takes me a bit to process the seasons I have been through. About a year and a half ago, I reached a point where I was tired of doubting my salvation. I was driving down the road crying and told God from that day forward I wouldn't let this tug-of-war in my mind go on any longer.
For years I didn't share my personal testimony because those few years in legalism had clouded my view and I was confused.
Struggling with your salvation you ask? Yes. For several years, I struggled with my salvation. I didn't struggle to believe what Jesus did for me. I wholeheartedly believe He died on the cross for a "good" church girl named Jordan who needs Him desperately. I am a sinner and He loved me enough to die for me as He knew I would need Him and that we all need Him.
I constantly dealt with a tug-of-war between scripture and the seeds of doubt planted in my mind. I struggled with overcomplicating my faith in Jesus Christ.
I put my faith in Jesus as a young girl. I had a heart for Him and wanted to serve Him no matter what. When we started getting sucked into legalism a few years ago, suddenly after hearing their preaching and teaching, I started to doubt my salvation.
Legalism tends to breed repeat salvations as a lot of messages are preached on getting saved in the "right" atmosphere. If you didn't feel deeply convicted or you weren't following their list of man-made rules then you probably weren't saved. The services were full of testimonies of people who thought they were saved, yet, they felt like they didn't do it right.
(And don't get me wrong, there are people who claim Jesus who don't really know Him. Only you know in your heart if you truly believe in what Jesus did for you on the cross of Calvary.)
This type of teaching overcomplicated and added to faith in Jesus.
I believed them. I made the proclamation that I got saved... for real... when, in reality, I was already saved. I remember sitting on my bed reading scripture and feeling miserable. You see, I already had true faith in what Jesus did for me on the cross according to scripture. I was just letting seeds of doubt be planted in my mind to make me think I needed to DO something MORE to be saved.
When we got into the chains of legalism, it created a shift in me to start focusing on the outward appearance rather than the inward appearance. I was judgemental and didn't have a heart for others anymore.
I was in church more during that time than I am now, yet, I was so far from God during that season. I was religious but I had left behind my relationship with Jesus.
I always go to scripture. Look no further than scripture, friends!
1 John 3:23 says, "And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment."
Romans 10:13 says, "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."
Whether you be in a church pew.
In your bedroom.
At sports practice.
Driving down the road.
Jesus can both meet you and save you in the darkest corner of the earth to the brightest spot on earth.
HE asks for our FAITH. He doesn't ask us to pray a certain prayer, go to a certain church to be saved, or do any good deeds. He asks us to call upon His name and we SHALL be saved.
1 John 3:24 says, "And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us."
I share my testimony because I know a lot of people struggle with their salvation.
Run to Jesus. Ask Him the tough questions and read His word. His word clearly says faith in what He did for US is the only way to Him. Believe what He did for you, friend. Don't overcomplicate it.
Stick to scripture and if anyone preaches or teaches anything else; run. Don't add works to it or the right words. Don't add a list of things you need to do BEFORE you accept Him. You will never be good ENOUGH. Our best efforts are filthy rags.
He wants YOU.
He wants your heart.
As always, feel free to reach out if you're struggling in this area.