Making friends used to be easy until I became an adult and realized that genuine friendships can oftentimes be hard to cultivate. I am an Extrovert all-the-way. I love meeting new people and connecting with them. The past few years of my life have been full of moving, adjusting and changing. From changing area codes to adjusting to life with two children; I put forming friendships with others on the back-burner.
I was sitting outside watching my daughter play when this post came across my heart. She was riding her red tricycle around the yard in circles and having the best time with me watching her. All she cared about was that I was sitting there watching her and spending time with her. That taught me an important lesson about being a friend. Did I want to go outside during the one-year olds nap time (when I do my best writing) and sit in the grass? No, not exactly but she wanted me to spend time with her. Friendship is about sacrifice and being there for the other person even when it may be inconvenient. I am clearly my daughters parent first but I also want to be her closest friend for life.
"Quality over quantity" comes to my mind when I think about friendships. I would rather have a few solid, genuine, be-there-with-coffee-in-ten type friends than an entire roomful of people who will drop me as soon as an inconvenience occurs. The latter part of that statement sounds harsh but there are truly people out there who will use you. So sad!
Now before you think I am captain "World's Best Friend" let me continue... I have been thinking about the type of friend God calls us to be and the type of friend he wants me to be. Here are some verses I found:
"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother."
"He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends."
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!"
Friendship is important!
I have been thinking about how I can be a good friend. How can I love others and develop genuine friendship? As I read these verses above, I believe that a good friend should encourage you, be honest with you and love you. I also think that being a good listener and confidant is important as gossip has killed so many friendships. Let's talk about these friend character traits further:
1. Encourage You + You Encourage Them
If the people you're friends with do not encourage you, then it may be time to find new friends. It turns out that our parents were right, who you hang out with will be who you eventually become. Encouraging friends will not just tell you things to make you feel good, but will encourage you in your walk with Christ. On the flip side, we should desire to be an encouragement to our friends as well.
2. Be Honest + Find Friends Who Aren't Scared Of The Truth
Honesty is so important in friendships. I would argue that being an honest friend is even more important than being an encouraging friend. We need friends who will unashamedly speak truth into our lives even when it may be awkward to hear it. If they see us going down a particularly rough path or feel like we need to see something going on in our lives that we may be blind to, they should speak up. We should also speak up when we see our friend struggling. Honesty is so important!
3. Love You + Love Your Friends
I love the verse above that talks about love covering a multitude of sins. True, sacrificial love is long-suffering, kind, and patient (1 Corinthians 13). Even when our friend(s) disappoints us or acts in a less-than-desirable way, we can still love them. We can still be the friend that, "sticketh closer than a brother." I want to know that when I am acting in an unlovable way that my friends will still stick around and see me through my rough patch. We all have rough patches and those kind of friends who are always there are the best!
I love having coffee with friends! The photo on the right was taken at one of my favorite local coffee shops. There is just something so encouraging about meeting a friend for coffee. You may not enjoy coffee but you can still spend time with good, godly friends who challenge and motivate you!
I started this blog to connect and encourage other women. I am still finding my footing as a blogger but I never wanted to only reach one group of women. I don't want to be known as only a "Mommy-Blogger" because I want to reach single women, married women, moms, friends, daughters, teens, etc! I also want YOU to know that I will be your friend! We may be as different as oil and water (a Southern saying) but I want to be friends with you! You can always reach out to me when you're feeling down and I will answer! If you live close to me, come on over for coffee! Friendships are so important and I hope that you will continue following along with our community of women!