"Why are you rushing your life?"
"Are you sure this is what you want to do?"
"You need to finish school and figure out what you want to do with your life."
"You're too young and your life hasn't even started yet."
"Are you pregnant?"
"You don't know what you want and you don't make enough money."
"You will regret getting married."
"It will never work out."
"He is only your first real boyfriend so you need to date other people."
The statements I listed above seem to be the most popular comments I received when I asked my Instagram followers if their young engagement or marriage was met with skepticism and negativity. It caused me to wonder why getting married young is so unpopular in today's culture and such a popular topic to shed negative light on? According to the U.S. Census Bureau, "The average age of a woman's first marriage is 27.4 years." Their study has shown that this is the longest women have ever waited to get married. If you read into their study on their website here you will see that the age of marriage has gone up and is linked to our life expectancy age also rising. Upon further research, I noticed that the younger generations AKA my generation AKA millennials are walking away from pursuing someone to marry and are instead recreationally dating for many years. This broke my heart. I am a firm believer in the beauty and importance of a God-centered marriage. Does this mean we always marry the first person who comes along? Of course not! Marriage was meant to be a lifelong commitment with the person you are sure God sent you to marry. On the other hand, do we sometimes get extra blessed as our first boyfriend turns into our future spouse? Sure! Regardless of the "when" it happens, marriage was created by God to be a beautiful thing.
"Regardless of the "When" it happens, marriage was created by God to be a beautiful thing."
I kept reading and scouring the internet to see what the deal was with people not wanting to commit to relationships. I read a lot about the fact that younger generations are mainly looking for recreational relationships and have no interest in committing long-term to any relationship. Terms like "hooking-up," came up a lot in my reading and that casual encounters with people without even getting to know them was the norm these days. That is so sad to me. It sounds like a really lonely life that God, in His infinite wisdom, never intended us to live.
Hear my heart on this: We all make mistakes and all sin. We are all on level playing ground, but dear friend, God never intended for you to live a lonely life going from empty relationship to empty relationship.
This research and reading made me sad because God made marriage to be a beautiful and wonderful relationship between a man and a woman. Two imperfect people who join together to love God and each other. We weren't meant to casually weave in and out of relationships for fun; never getting to know a person for more than a few hours. Here are a few reasons why getting married young is a beautiful thing...
1. You Grow Together
My husband and I got married when I was 19 and he was 20. We were very young (and still are) but we knew what we wanted out of life and decided marriage was our next step. Although both of us knew that marriage would take a lot of hard work, we still wanted to work at it together. From finances to parenthood to buying our first house, we did it together as a team and it has been an amazing ride. We have grown spiritually, mentally, and emotionally close together and encourage each other to be the person God created us to be. What is really cool is that my husband and I have pursued our dreams, and are still pursuing our dreams, together! My husband has worked his way up in his company, we've moved three times, had two kids, and went through a bunch of other crazy seasons while married. I am staying home with my babies thanks to his hardworking all while pursuing my dreams of building my blog and writing my first book! Has it always been easy? Of course not! Anything worth having will take a lot of hard work and dedication.
2. The Fun Is Just Beginning
Getting married young doesn't mean that your life is over or that you can't have any fun. Being in a committed relationship teaches you how to put the other person before yourself and you learn what it truly means to be a team. If God sent you your spouse as a young person you should be very grateful! I have heard from a wonderful Christian friend that the dating field is really interesting these days. I can imagine that it is hard to find a Christian person to date as many young people aren't looking for commitment anymore. My husband is truly my best friend and we have a lot of fun navigating life together. We spend almost all of our time together and it still doesn't feel like enough. Marriage didn't stop the fun that we experienced while dating. We enjoy binge watching Star Wars, playing golf, going on dates, and enjoying our little family God has blessed us with. Making time for fun looks different with kids but it is still fun nonetheless!
3. Marriage Is A Blessing
Committing yourself to a God-centered marriage changes your life for the better. If you know that God has placed your future spouse in your life, you're financially ready to live on your own, and you want to spend your life with the person; go for it! Marriage doesn't have to come after a certain magical number, friend! With a lot of hard work and leaning on Christ, your marriage can thrive! As the years pass, it seems as if marriage is becoming a "thing of the past". I want to honor God in my marriage by following His word and striving to be the best spouse I can possibly be.
I want to know! Did you get married young? How long have you been married? If you're not married, what is one trait you're looking for in a spouse?