Far too often, women are classified as needy. We are the brunt of the needy girlfriend/wife jokes and you hear men and women alike say, “She is just so desperate for attention,” or “She is so desperate for love,” when talking about someone they deem “desperate”.
And that makes me sad for a multitude of reasons but I’ll share just a few of them.
1. Women are biologically the more emotional sex and that’s beautiful to me. I embrace womanhood and believe God made both sexes for their unique purpose and to complement one another. I am weaker emotionally than my husband and I am not afraid to admit that. The world has distorted this unique characteristic of women and it makes me sad. It’s not shameful. Whew, glad I got that off of my chest.
2. When women are hurting inside we tend to put on a brave face and decide we will do it all alone or we start desperately seeking solace in something or someone. OR perhaps we decide to run to Christ to allow Him to meet those internal needs and have a healthy mindset when it comes to this topic. I want to be scenario 3 but I’ve been all of them and perhaps you have as well?
3. We never know what someone is going through or why they’re motivated to act out in desperation. It almost always points to deep hurt inside. You won’t change my mind. They aren’t “needy” or “desperate” they’re hurting inside. That woman you think is needy and weak is most likely really strong but is hurting inside and it’s showing.
I’ve been all three of those women in my (almost) 25 years of life. I’ve been the super independent one and the seeking solace in something/someone one. I’ve been the guarded I-can-and-will-do-this-myself and the putting-things-and-people-in-the-place-God-should-be-in-my-life-one. I’ve also been the woman when directly aligned with Christ, that trusts Him and is confident in Him.
I am not ashamed to admit it because I’ve seen just how powerful God is through this struggle I face and, undoubtedly, many women face. I’ve seen how He alone truly fills the needs of my heart & soul. And I want to leave you with a few words of encouragement my friend.
If you’re hurting deeply or just need this reminder, I want you to know you don’t have to desperately search for anyone except Jesus. He can fill the void and the unmet needs you feel are lacking inside. He CAN. Hear me loud and clear: HE CAN!
Even if you’re trying to do it alone or fill the void elsewhere; you can jump off the train. You can jump off and jump right into his arms.
You don’t have to desperately seek the approval of others.
You don’t have to desperately prove your worth.
You don’t have to desperately beg that person to love you.
You don’t have to desperately fill that void inside with titles, fame, or fortune.
You don’t have to desperately search the world looking for something to make you feel whole inside.
People fail. Crutches fail. False idols fail. Systems fail.
But Jesus doesn’t fail.
You may be hurting and feeling the desperate urge to go to your quick fix of choice. People do hurt us, situations harm us, and we don’t need to minimize our pain (or other's pain). AKA: “but it could be worse or at least...” #nonono
But we can run to Jesus. Run to Him with our pain and be desperate for His touch. His word. His peace. His presence. He alone can fill up all the voids you and I have.
“For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.” Psalms 107:9